Tell me no?

Okay, so, Sydney is 9, right?

She is young and impressionable, right?

Then, if she is so darn young and impressionable, why doesn't she just do everything I tell her to. It would really make life much more enjoyable for all parties involved.

Believe it or not. I think Sydney developed the habit of not doing what we tell her after watching Ainsley. Before that, I don't think she ever realized that she could just say "No." We had Sydney brainwashed perfectly. For the most part, she simply did what she was told. On occasion, she might try and hide the fact that she did not do something that she had been asked to but, she would never, ever have considered telling us "No" when asked to do something.

Now, she does.

And, frankly, (to quote Bill Cosby) we brought her in this world and we can take her out.

I am still in the fight but I must admit that I am pulling my hair out over this one.

Telling me no. I'll tell you who can tell me no. You &%*@# (*&^#@ little twerp. Certainly not a 9 year little *&^$@#. Telling me no. I'll tell you no.

I apologize for the rant, but that is the conversation that goes on in my head every time she tries it. I always said I would not become my mother in those situations but I sure can hear that old conversation going on in my head.

Well, regardless, this weekend we took a hard stand against little miss "no." After Tae Kwon Do when I asked her to change into the clothes we had brought for her so that we could go out afterwards she did it. She said no. I politely told her that she could either do it herself or we would be doing it for her. She said no, again. At that point, we cleared the way. Lynley got the top half. I got the bottom half and we changed her into the clothes we had brought.

As you might expect, she did not like it. She threw a fit of gargantuan proportions. She kicked and screamed and, in the end, earned a one way trip to her room for the weekend.

Now, it isn't that I really cared that she changed clothes. In fact, had she given me a reasonable and polite explanation of why she did not want to change, I probably would have let her stay in her uniform. However, since she rudely said "no", this seemed one of those occasions that she lost the option to choose.

She is nine!?!? Have a already lost my daughter to teenagerism?

Did we handle this right? Did we do it wrong?

I have to believe that there is a better way of dealing with this but for the life of me I don't know what it is. I can tell you that, so far in the short term, she has not even considered telling her mother or I "No." After all, that is what we were going for. I just wonder if the effect will last and what we can do the next time to handle it better. Oh, and you are not allowed to tell me to talk to her nicely and get to the root of the issue. I have tried that until the cows come home. While that sometimes works it always just spurs on more and more nos.

Once again, I find myself with a mountain of purpose but no clear path over it.