Breaking Through

Home sweet, home. Well, we have been back home from California for the better part of a week. Overall, Sydney and Graham's Tae Kwon Do team did well. I think that with each passing day Sydney has gained more and more pride regarding her bronze medal. At first, she was sad that she only achieved bronze. I just don't really think she digested the scale of her accomplishment until after she realized how tough this venue was. When some of her team heros (people who she looks up to for their dominance) came back with bronze and silver medals she began to realize that just getting to compete was a big accomplishment and a medal, any medal, was like walking on the moon.

It has had a profound effect on her confidence. I mean this, of course, in a good way. But, she walked into this tournament with doubt that she could accomplish anything on her own and walked out knowing nothing stood in her way. I don't know how long the effect will last but it is this feeling that is exactly the reason we put her in Tae Kwon Do.

Unfortunately, Graham did not walk out with the same feeling. He is a self doubting wreck. You would never expect a little boy with so much good stuff going would have such an unhealthy picture of himself painted in his mind. He is smart, athletic, funny and so incredibly creatively talented and yet, to listen to him, you would think he had failed at everything. The good news is that he is no worse off than when we began our road to the Junior Olympics. However, Graham needed this win more than anyone.

He is my biggest challenge as of late. Graham is tough for me. I absolutely love the little bugger but he is the one that I have the most difficulty communicating with. I don't know whether it is because we are both male or because we are so much alike that it pushes us apart but, I just don't ever feel like I can get through to him. In this sense, he is a momma's boy. Yes, Lynley has his heart. It is frustrating though, because he needs me. He is just like his dad. There is so much that I can impart to him if he would just give me the chance.

It is one of my greatest frustrations in life.

I just want to help him and, right now, he needs it.

This one will take weeks, months and years of purpose.